My Voyeuristic Fascination with BeachBody Coaches
A lot has been said and written already about MLMs, their predatory nature, and their cultish nature. I am fascinated by the companies and their methods, but what I am even more fascinated by are the individuals within these companies.
Most people who follow the anti-MLM movement have a preferred MLM — LulaRoe, Arbonne, Monat, Rodan + Fields, Mary Kay — mine is BeachBody.
I think a lot of people come to keep up with people in MLMs through their personal lives. Luckily, I don’t have anyone in my orbit who has ever tried to sell me an MLM product or got sucked into one, and I fell into the black hole that are BeachBody coaches almost by accident, through Reddit of course.
I’ve been following bloggers and influencers for over a decade now, and as long as there have been bloggers, there have been people talking shit about them on the internet. There’s GOMI (get off my internets), which is, in my opinion, clinically insane, and there was r/Blogsnark, which is slightly less toxic.
Around 2018/19, there were threads for more than just bloggers, including one for BeachBody, and one for Caroline Calloway (both have since been removed, and migrated to their own subreddits because of Blogsnark rules, I think).
And so one day I clicked on the BeachBody coaches link and dove headfirst into the madness. And it is madness. The new threads exist at r/beachbodyhunsnark and r/hunsnark. I believe there is additional drama between the two regarding the degree to which people seek info about coaches. It’s drama I’m not interested in.
Not only is BeachBody a pretty toxic company (the name BeachBody itself is a toxic mentality to push around body image), and the programs push unhealthy eating habits and workout mentality, but these women are literally running their lives into the ground for the company, and sharing literally everything every step of the way. It’s like a trainwreck that I simply cannot look away from.
Just a sampling of the drama: one top coach got a divorce, started dating someone new who had a history of domestic abuse, moved across the country, got engaged, married, pregnant with twins, and then tragically lost a child, all within the span of about two years. That’s not even everything! And she shared it all on social media.
There’s another woman I can’t look away from who is full Qanon cuckoo lulu. She constantly posts that the government is trying to control us through the pandemic and the vaccine, claims all health ailments can be solved by BeachBody supplements and exercise, doesn’t believe in dinosaurs (?????), thinks everything is a human trafficking ploy, and is randomly somehow an LPGA golfer. Again, I cannot look away.
There are a number of people on YouTube, TikTok, Reddit, and so on who do deep dives into these womens’ content and highlight why they’re unethical, predatory, and just plain wrong. KikiChanel is a favorite of mine.
On one hand, it feels cruel to watch these women crash and burn so publicly, all while they remain in complete denial about how this cult is brainwashing them and ruining their lives. There’s an element of schadenfreude, watching grown women be so ignorant, unable to question the company, workouts, supplements, other coaches, and so unwilling to accept any criticism.
Then again, they are constantly sharing their lives, and trying to use anything that happens to them as an opportunity to recruit more women to join them, which deserves to be called out. The number of women I’ve seen use miscarriages alone as a way to connect with other women on Instagram to try to recruit them is sickening.
I also watch their videos and think — they’re not even good at this. If I were to join an MLM, I’d at least be able to actually create engaging content, and actually market myself effectively. I’d never do it, but some of these women are truly bad at this. Which makes it even more intriguing to watch.
To me, it’s my celebrity gossip. I don’t really do Bravo shows (except of course RHONY), and I cannot make heads or tails of Deux Moi. But these BeachBody girlies are always up to something new, always spiraling in different ways, and it’s impossible to look away.
Not that anything I do is ever cringy or embarrassing, of course.
Some of my greatest comforts in life are panels at the 92nd Street Y. To a point where I quote them to people who have absolutely no idea what I am referencing. Some favorites:
John Mulaney and Nick Kroll as their Oh Hello! characters with Willie Geist
John Mulaney and Nick Kroll as their Oh Hello! characters with John Oliver
Veep cast on their final season
And not 92Y but additional John Mulaney and Nick Kroll content that is now canon for me — their monologue at the 2017 Film Independent Spirit Awards
I obviously love Mulaney and will not be commenting further on the drama of his divorce, because I also support his ex-wife Anna.