Why I Can't Quit Half Marathons
Or, why running long races is the only thing that can get me to take care of myself
I always say that I feel like I’m in the best shape when I’m training for half marathons. You’d think it was because I’m running long distances regularly, but I didn’t feel great when I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2018. Instead, I think it has a lot to do with how much attention training for halves makes me pay to my body.
I’m not a crazy running type — I trot along at about 10 minutes per mile, train one long run a week. But after I return to running after a break (alas, I always come back), I remember how important it is that I take care of myself.
For instance, I just ran the Philly Love Run this past weekend (this is not a brag), after barely running for the preceding 2 years of the pandemic. When I am training, I not only have to schedule my runs, but I am militant about also scheduling rest days, and adding in stretching and yoga to my weekly workout rotation. I know that when I don’t eat enough before a run, I run out of energy and feel like there’s not enough gas in the tank to get me to the finish line, I get cramps if I don’t have enough protein, and I know what foods do and don’t upset my stomach, so the foods I eat before and after a run become more important.
Now that I’ve finished this race, I’m trying to continue to care about myself. It’s easy to slip back into neglecting yoga and stretching, and subsisting on Sunbutter with bananas or pretzels, (if this had all the nutrients a body needs, I would live on that alone). But I do feel so much stronger and less miserable when I prioritize these things, I’d like to try to keep them in my routine. Perhaps just running six miles instead of ten or eleven, though.
The other thing that running truly helps me with is relaxing. After a certain point (for me, usually about 3 miles) the run flies by, and I can zone out and relax. Similar to how a dog needs a certain amount of exercise or stimulation a day, I too need to get tired out so my mind doesn’t become bored and create chaos. It feels incredibly good to push my body until I am truly exhausted. Plus, it gives me a good excuse to lay on the couch for the rest of the day.
What’s more, if I weren’t extremely in tune with the messages my body sends when I run, I’d miss signals that something was wrong. A little pinch in my foot or ankle at the beginning of a run turns into pain from plantar fasciitis which ends my training, tight hips or hamstrings leads to a lot of pain later. And it carries over to when I’m not running or working out, I notice how different foods make me feel, or how certain alcohol makes my anxiety worse (more on that in another newsletter, I’m sure) more acutely than I do when I’m paying less attention to my body.
Ultimately, it’s always jarring, sometimes horrifying that I can’t know exactly what is going on in my own body at all times. But when I’m training for races, I feel more in tune with what’s going on in there, and it puts my mind at ease, at least for a little while.
I just finished Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and LOVED it. It reminded me of one of my favorite books I read a few years back, Devil in the White City, which tells a compelling story with rich characters, where a city where the story takes place is also a main character. In DITWC, that city is Chicago, and for MITGOGAE, it’s Savannah.
The flap copy of the book suggests this book is about a murder, but the murder doesn’t even happen until literally halfway into the book. And it didn’t even bother me. I could read about this society gossip and the history of Savannah for another 300 pages. Highly recommend.
I’ve also been devouring Cultish by Amanda Montell via audiobook, which takes a deep dive into the language of cults, and other cult-like groups. She has a whole section on MLMs, and another on group fitness. I love books, I love words, and I love cults. Couldn’t recommend more.